What Great Parents Teach Their Kids
The world is still reeling from the shocking grisly murder of Rev. Israel Ahimbisibwe, 52, and his family by his son. Ahimbisibwe the lead pastor at the Church of the Redeemer was killed along with his wife, Dorcus, and 5-year-old son, Jay.
There is no worse nightmare for a parent than being killed by their own flesh and blood, not to mention their hope and joy. Most parents will tell you that there is no mountain they would not climb to ensure their children’s success, but many times their efforts are never rewarded and like Israel, some will pay the ultimate price. Sadly, there is no manual for parenting and I believe even if it was there it would not work because human beings are too complex. Having said that there are simple rules we could apply and gain some success.
Set rules and stick to them, make these non-negotiable i.e. politeness or civility and honesty. As you set these rules, be sure to obey them yourself otherwise you will be wasting your time. If you are a kind of parent who swears like a sailor, don’t expect your children not to.
Teach them to earn
Operate “a quid pro quo” system when dealing with their demands; teach them that there is nothing for nothing. If for instance your children want something, put in place a system for earning it, so that they don’t take what they have for granted. Even if it is a thank you or a “please”. It is better than nothing at all. Inculcate a good work ethic in your children for instance, many children associate manual with suffering and pain and will not do any work willingly. But if you teach them from young age, for instance to appreciate a clean house, and then want to keep up the standard just to please. Remember, there is a thin line between discipline and abuse. So be sure to examine your punitive measures because it is very easy to go overboard.
Communication is the key in any relationship. Many parents fear to discuss their emotions with their children because they fear to appear weak. But most times, this will save you a lot of pain if children understand the motives behind some of the rules you give them.
Strive to be like the children
Great parents are aware of the fact that our prior condition is love. It is light. It is happiness. They know that all children come into this world pure, whole and perfect, and because of that they strive to re-become as pure as, as connected and as aware as their children. They strive to be like their children, but they don’t try to make their children be like them.
“Parenting is not about having children lean on you but making leaning unnecessary. They have a compass, let them follow their own compass; freeing you up to be your own person on your own time and allowing them to become who they are to become.” ~ Wayne Dyer
Rather be happy than rich
Great parents don’t educate their children to be rich, but rather to be happy. To seek to become men and women of value, not of success, so that when they grow up, they know the value of things, not the price. “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ~ John Lennon