Mom’s worldToddlers

You Can Become A Calmer Parent

frustrated african american businesswoman with baby in office

Five years ago when I took my daughter home from hospital, I felt lost, overwhelmed and simply unqualified enough to raise her. I got tonnes of advice and volumes of books on how to ace this parenting thing. I realized that parenting is the toughest job in the world because you are dealing with delicate children who will either thrive or be broken by the way they are handled.  Parents are like gods to their children; they depend on them and are their window into what is in the world. After years on the job I have learnt a few truths that have made this lifelong journey a fun filled experience.

Put yourself first

African-american-family-The-Trent

It’s hard to run a home when you are not at your best physically and emotionally. In order to be the best parent you can be, you need to make sure that you are feeling as good as you can. So exercise, eat right, say “no” when you want to, and don’t feel guilty. Your children deserve a happy and healthy parent.

Stop trying to be perfect

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so stop aiming for that. Just be the best parent you can be; allow yourself to make mistakes and show your children that striving to do your best is always the goal. And when it all gets too much don’t be afraid to ask for help. People fear to ask friends and relatives to help with their kids because they are afraid of appearing incompetent. It is okay go ahead and ask for help, advice or whatever because no one is perfect.

 Take mornings off

Parenting is the only job with no holiday. You are always the first and last to get in and out of bed every day. This eventually takes a toll on your body and consequently your performance. Get just one day and sleep in you will see the difference within a week.

Put yourself first

It’s hard to run a home when you are not at your best physically and emotionally. In order to be the best parent you can be, you need to make sure that you are feeling as good as you can. So exercise, eat right, say “no” when you want to, and don’t feel guilty. Your children deserve a happy and healthy parent.

Stop trying to be perfect

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so stop aiming for that. Just be the best parent you can be; allow yourself to make mistakes and show your children that striving to do your best is always the goal.

Take mornings off

Parenting is the only job with no holiday. You are always the first and last to get in and out of bed every day. This eventually takes a toll on your body and consequently your performance. Get just one day and sleep in you will see the difference within a week.

Stick to a schedule

Having a regular time to wake up, leave for school, get home from work, eat dinner, and put the kids to bed makes the day go much more smoothly. Being consistent with your schedule eliminates a lot of decision making, and contributes to a calmer household.

Be yourself

Of course you are a parent, but you are still you, complete with emotions, hopes, and ideas. Parent the way you want, not how your mother-in-law expects. Allow your children to see your true feelings and your silly side. Don’t let the title of “Parent” turn you into a new person, just a more special one.

Relax

Not everything is an emergency; some things can wait. So just take a deep breath and enjoy this roller coast ride of parenting. Enjoy the highs but don’t get too low with the lows. Things will always get better.

Control your anger

African-American single-parent family

When our kids yell at us, we feel tense. When we yell at our kids, we feel worse. It is much easier for people, including your children, to listen to a firm but calm voice than to a yelling voice. You want your kids to listen to your words rather than to focus on your anger.

Stick to a schedule

Having a regular time to wake up, leave for school, get home from work, eat dinner, and put the kids to bed makes the day go much more smoothly. Being consistent with your schedule eliminates a lot of decision making, and contributes to a calmer household.

Be yourself

Of course you are a parent, but you are still you, complete with emotions, hopes, and ideas. Parent the way you want, not how your mother-in-law expects. Allow your children to see your true feelings and your silly side. Don’t let the title of “Parent” turn you into a new person, just a more special one.

Relax

Not everything is an emergency; some things can wait. So just take a deep breath and enjoy this roller coast ride of parenting. Enjoy the highs but don’t get too low with the lows. Things will always get better.

 

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