Column SquadDatingMaking it work

Couples Are Unhappy Because They Are Misinformed- Sexologist Hamida

DSC_0024

Ssenga Hamida Namatovu is the latest craze in Kampala social circles. Apart from her programs on NTV and CBS radio the bubbly, timeless Ssenga has a schedule that would make Kim Kardashian weep with envy. Her sex expertise has taken her to Dubai, Cairo, Congo, Tanzania, Kigali, and is currently booked to give a talk in the USA.

‘I have a hands-on experience of over 15 years now and have helped many people around the world. No school can teach you all the things I know. You have to live through them, experience them and earn the right to talk about them.’ Ssenga says.

I decided to go into this business because after several heartbreaking experiences, I made up my mind that no woman should go through the same experiences. Nothing gives me pleasure like a marriage/relationship I help bring back to life.

The biggest problem with relationships today is that people apply the wrong solutions for their problems. I always see the advice given by columnists in the press and it always cracks me up; you can use oceans of ink but the advice will always remain ineffective because indigenous problems obviously require indigenous solutions. In fact I commend you (SheSpell.com) for your approach of seeking out real people who can give expert advice on each topic. You cannot generalize people, a Ugandan man differs from a Kenyan one and they are both worlds apart from a European man in their needs and expectations.

However, there is one thing which is universal and we all agree upon, if a man is unsatisfied at home, he will definitely roam around in search of anything that can fill up that void. The best way a woman can keep her man from straying is keeping him satisfied at all costs. So how do you do this? Here are some general pointers that will guide you, for more personal guidance I would need to hear your story first. So feel free to leave your questions here.

Limit your imagination

Marriage was not designed to test or improve your imaginative abilities. If you give in to your wild imagination, you will drive yourself crazy. Unless you have caught your partner pants down, never ever try to imagine what he is doing with that young and pretty Personal Assistant of his. Your imagination and the need to control your partner’s entire life is a sign of insecurity that spells out trouble in the relationship. Keep your thoughts to more pleasant and productive things it will make both of you very happy.

 

Eat Healthy

Every depiction of a happy family life shows partners cheerfully eating a healthy meal with their children. Having healthy foods like fruits, vegetables and lots of water means a healthy body, a healthy mind and  as  such a healthy sex life. With the body very well hydrated, tempers are most likely not to fray over minor issues.

Create Boundaries

Sometimes I feel sorry for these modern couples who have no option but to be together all the time. Those are the couples you see in traffic jams looking like they would rather be anywhere but next to that person. Our parents had it easy; in the morning the men would go their ways leaving their women to run the homes and gardens in peace. Here the couple probably lives in a small house where they are forced to be in each other’s space. They probably work together and have to share the same car all the time. You are no longer a lover but his jailer and I can assure you that he will find creative ways of escaping from your prison. You need to remember that you are two separate beings each with unique abilities, strength and weakness.  Give each other a break, some breathing space to think and grow. Plus when someone misses you a bit the reunion is usually a wonderful sexual experience.

Get Off Social Media

There is nothing annoying as a man who will go to bed and keep chatting with his mates on whatsapp, or a woman who will postpone her time of being in bed with her spouse to skype with a friend. As far as I am concerned social media is a nuisance and has done more harm than good to relationships. What kind of family exists without real interaction? Relationships need to be handled the old fashioned way; physically or else they fade.

 

Have a Time Table

Doing the right thing at the right time will mean doing almost all that you have to do as a couple on time. Having a deadline for meals, TV and bedtime will help sort out stress before it even starts.

Share: