I am not one for Reality TV because I personally think it is just crazy sitting around watching crazy people do crazy stuff. But when Married at First Sight came along, I changed my mind for a very short time because: A: The fact that the so called experts thought they were trying out a new social experience was so funny and B, Because I am a sucker for love.
The show features six people who agree to marry a complete stranger. The only difference from all other hookup shows is that four specialists; a sexologist, a spiritualist, a psychologist and a sociologist use scientific matchmaking methods to pair up the couples. In short it is love made in a lab.
Of all the couples, Davina and Sean both 34, (middle) hit home for me because they represented the difficulties faced by almost every single person above the age of 30. Probably because they have been through so much pain and disappointment, they choose to shut down their hearts as a way of protecting themselves. Throughout the six weeks, both Davina and Sean were guarded and defensive. While she claimed to want intimacy and love, she put up invisible barriers that scared Sean from making any sexual advances.
Then there was Jessica and Ryan D (first couple) who I was really rooting for. Their attraction was raw, explosive and simply adorable. One minute they couldn’t get their hands off each other, and the next minute they weren’t talking. And then all this stopped because none of them was invested in the relationship enough to risk getting hurt. And the moment this happened, the couple fell apart.
What does this teach us? That love just like life is messy. If you want real love, you have to risk getting messed up; you have to put in the work, the tears, blood and mucus. You will get hurt, you will hurt somebody but that doesn’t mean that you shut down because when you do there is absolutely no way healing love can get into your heart.
The truth is that the thing we want most is the thing we often resist. Every single person you meet will tell you that they are looking for love yet they are not willing to let people in. There is something magical about dropping down one’s defenses and living life without excuses or expectations. In order to get the intimacy and love you dream of, you must be willing to take a risk and trust without a doubt, you must be willing to give without taking, and know exactly how to ask for what you want and what to do when you do not get it.
Relationships are a blessing from God. If you pay attention you realize that they teach you, they test you and push you to be the best that you can be. Don’t squander these opportunities waiting for the perfect one because there is no one perfect. Unless you are waiting to wait a long long time, make up your mind to broaden the parameters of your search. Get out of your head, get out of your way and trust that the person you meet is also looking for the same thing as you and then let the magic happen.