Relationships are difficult, one minute you are all butterflies and rainbows and the next minute you are sure that things changed even though you can’t put a figure on what is exactly changed.  The truth is good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together. Here’s how a few still-going-strong couples have made their love last.

Don’t involve third parties in your relationship

There are those times when things get so bad that you are tempted to tell a friend or relative instead of your partner. This is wrong because friends, even well-meaning ones can give you wrong advice. Other people just make your problems seem bigger than they really are. If you have an issue going on, the best thing to do is talk it over and find a solution before it gets out of hand.

Choose to stay even when times are hard

Life is going to hit you with curve balls but you have to stick it out. People give up too soon, too easily. It’s how you handle those lows together that makes the difference in life. There will be strains, yet it gets easier, and in many ways, better.

Never stop showing affection

Complement each other, look each other into the eyes and do all those things young lovers do. If you continue holding hands and you’re content, that’s what’s important. When you have children don’t let everything revolve around them because you will get lost when they finally leave home. Find time to go out on dates and reconnect with each other.

Choose to start your own legacy

Just because you come from a divorced family doesn’t mean that you should continue paying homage to that legacy. You can choose to be the one turns around the family history by having a successful and long lasting marriage. All you have to do is believe that you can and try harder.

Pick your battles

Learning the limits you have with each other, and not trying to change someone, is important so you know when to let things go.  You can’t be right all the time, and pushing someone too much only causes problems. Ignore some and cut your partner some slack; God knows you are not perfect either.

Create shared memories

At one point that raw attraction might fade and the only thing that will keep you together is the bond you have created along the way. Do things together; travel, party, whatever you love doing do it together, not separately.

Give each other space

I am talking about real space, time and privacy. At the end of the day you have to remember that you are different individuals with diverse likes and hobbies. To avoid stifling each other, give your partner space and time to do exactly what they like without looking over their shoulders.

Make compromises

Often, one person has to compromise or live outside their comfort zones. However it shouldn’t be one person making compromises all the time because that would create resentment and degenerate into abuse.

Don’t let yourself go

These days some women delude themselves by thinking that once he’s put a ring on it, then it is done. However men are visual, they will be tempted to look for someone who reminds them of you when you were still hot. It’s important for women to take care of themselves as part of a happy marriage. Stay in shape, stay in style that way you stay attractive to each other and it’s healthier.

Get professional help when you need it

Relationships are messy and there will be glitches along the way because it’s hard for two individuals trying to live together as a unit. Go to a marriage counselor when you realize that you are beginning to go different directions.  You always have to keep working on relationships.