Holiday Resentment? Just Shake It Off


There is nothing like a trip to the village to leave one feeling like a total and utter loser. No matter what you have accomplished there will be  someone in your extended family who is doing way better than you and depending on their level of mental development  they will want everyone to take notice and applaud them. 

There will always be someone you grew up with who “made it” — further than you have. Way more. Your relatives will probably drop hints about what you should or shouldn’t do in order to catch up. 

The nagging and comparisons will eventually get to you and leave you reeling with shame, anger and resentment.  If left unresolved, resentment has the power to be all consuming, and is very effective at fueling anger. In turn, unexpressed, internalized anger is a ticking time-bomb which can lead to abusive or self-destructive behavior, or a combination of both.  But . . .  You know what? Who cares really?

The truth is that if you measure your success against someone else’s you will always come short.  The only metric that matters should be how free and fulfilled you really feel.  While you might not get the chance to tell off your nosy relatives to back off, you can remind yourself that you are living your own life and going after your own version of success. And as far as you are concerned you are really on firm ground. 

And if there is something that’s not working right now just keep start taking deliberate actions to change it. Do things at your own pace.  The idea is that you do easy, natural things that are aligned with your core desired feelings. These small, steady actions won’t change your life in a flash, but they will change your life day by day.

So just shrug off the pointed barbs and shake them off. Celebrate yourself no matter what even if they think you’re too much of this, too little of that.  Lighten your load because you need space in your life for your fulfilled desires to arrive.  And resentment only hogs space that should be left free to accommodate your blessings.