Hell Dates! Ten Guys You Should Never Get Involved With
The other day while watching my new favorite show; Girlfriends’ Guide to divorce and one of the characters made a rookie’s mistake of openly dating one of those obviously undatable kinds of people. Her wise friend put her on the side and “schooled” her on the types of people a woman should never be involved with or expose her involvement with them to the public. What seemed so obvious to the wise friend was just news to the clueless friend. So here I compiled a list of the guys who I have no doubt will end up breaking your heart every time. No matter who you are, how desperate you feel, how long you’ve been single or how badly you’re looking for a date, please do yourself a favor and run whenever one of these guys show up in your life.
A relationship built without honesty is really no relationship at all. I don’t care if he’s lying about his age, his past, his family or the color of his car—a lie, is a lie, is a lie. But most importantly, early on in a relationship, it’s a big red flag. This guy is marked by a pattern of dishonesty and little white lies, lies about things that might not even matter. But what matters is the habits that are being formed, and the facade that’s being maintained. A man who has nothing to hide becomes a safe place in which a woman can hide her heart. Look for that kind of a man.
The Peter Pan
This guy will make you feel more like his mom than his girlfriend. He’ll have you taking care of him before you even know what hit you. And you’ll like it at first, because it will make you feel important. But what you don’t realize is that a relationship with this guy is sure to be one-sided. So until he’s ready to put down the video games, pay his own bills and do his own laundry, it’s time to move on to bigger and “more mature” things. You deserve a partner, not someone who needs a parent.
The Serial Womaniser
You know all about his history. In fact, this guy has quite a reputation with the ladies. So why on earth did you convince yourself that things would be different with you? This guy will leave you with a broken-heart—just like he left the string of girls before you. Yes, people can change—and no matter who you end up with, you’ll have to give them grace for their past—but unless you’ve seen evidence of change in this guy’s life, come to terms with the reality that you can’t change him with your love. Instead, find someone who you can love for who they are, not for what you hope them to be.
The Serial Dater
He says he’s interested. He might even tell you he’s in love. But then why do you find yourself worried about who else he’s interacting with, and how he’s interacting with them? With the right guy there are no options, there are only relationships. And healthy relationships can only develop and progress when the focus is on one person at a time.
The Not So Religious Guy
He goes to church on Sunday and quotes scripture for sport but he is not that committed to religion. Yet he has no personal relationship with God. If he can’t commit to the divine, what makes you think he will be able to commit to you? Don’t just settle for a church-phrase literate man; look for a Jesus-loving man.
The Non-committal Guy
One day he is all over you and the next he can’t be bothered to answer your texts. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but let me warn you he’s addictive. There’s just something about the unknown (“Does he like me, or not?”) that keeps you guessing and coming back for more. You can recognize him in that he knows how to talk the talk, but his actions never seem to follow suit. But the biggest problem with this kind of guy is that he’s using you for as long as you’ll stick around. So do yourself a favor and don’t stick around.
The My Time To Settle Guy
To this guy you are just another item to check off his list to do. It actually doesn’t matter whether it’s you are Eve all he cares about is his five-year plan, and it’s not something you get much of a say in. A woman is a prop to him, part of a carefully controlled image, and he expects this prop to just nod along with all of his decisions. He doesn’t actually need you. You certainly don’t need him. Look for a man who is marked by humility and selflessness, because only that kind of man can love you like you deserve to be loved.
The On Again and Off Again Guy
This guy will do anything to get you to stay on his roller-coaster ride of up and down emotions. One moment you’re “the one” and the next moment he’s confused, confined and non-committal. What you need to know about this guy is that this isn’t a “phase,” it’s a glimpse of the rest of your life. Just do yourself a favor and run when you still can.
The Out of Sight, Out of Mind Guy
This guy is sweet, charming, flirtatious and basically everything you imagined him to be—while you’re around. But when you’re not around? Well, he’s that same sweet, charming and flirtatious guy with the next girl. For him, it’s not about commitment, it’s about the moment. That’s definitely not a guy you can trust.
The Sex Addict
The thing that makes me crazy about this guy is that he’s so obvious, yet so charming. He makes you think that he’s really into you, when all the while his primary focus is on what he can get from you. But even with his obvious advances and fixation on the physical, you’ll find yourself making excuses, giving more and more of yourself. Recognize him quickly, and once you do, make a quick break. Don’t get stuck in the physical, because healthy relationships are built on so much more.