A player can be defined as a man who is skilled at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality he is only interested in sex. Time and technology has been good to players; it has given them avenues and information overload to hone their craft. These days it is almost difficult to know when you are being played especially if your adversary is really good. If he looks like a player, smells like a player, sounds like a player, then he is a player. Here are sure ways to know for sure if the man in your life is nothing but a heartless, heartbreaking player.
He never calls you by your name
Remember that Destiny’s Child hit single Say my name? Baby, sweetie, sugar, honey etc. are all good and they all have their appropriate time. There are moments we need to know that the person we are with regards us as more than romantic subjects; as individuals. We need to hear him call us by our name. When we meet his friends for example, we don’t expect him to introduce us simply as “my baby” because we are sure there have been other babies in the mix. And assuredly if we are going to be around for a while, we don’t expect his friends calling us “baby” as well. If you suspect that he doesn’t remember your name, chances are he doesn’t. If he can’t remember things about you and is vague in his discussion and doesn’t dive into what makes you tick, what your passions are, and what you want out of life, you have to honestly ask yourself how interested he truly is.
He says you’re too beautiful, too hot
This overused ‘compliment’ not only undermines your personality by suggesting the only reason you’d be with someone is because of your looks – but it also shows you that’s what he’s clearly focusing on. When looking to build a relationship with someone, it goes without saying that their valuing your substance and you as a person is essential to making it work. If every conversation is about physicality, you know where his attention is focused.
You have enough information to write his biography
To a player, no more interesting person ever lived than himself. From the moment you meet, he will tell you all about his virtues, victories and vanities like you are his biographer. No matter what you do, the conversation will always come back to him. This partly saves him from having to talk about those difficult subjects that might elicit any kind of commitment from him.
He never makes concrete plans
Girls, someone who truly loves you will make time for you no matter how busy they are. If your guy is never sure when he will be free, chances are his free time has already been spread too thin. Never trust a man who is never free. If you only ever get invited at the last minute on a Friday evening, it means that he was stood up and you are the last one in a really looong line of contenders. You deserve better than being a backup plan.
A player gets upset if you won’t spend the night
Don’t get me wrong – no single man will turn down physical advances from a woman he is attracted to, but if he is truly interested in building a relationship, that certainly won’t be his only focus.
He never remembers things you tell him
To be fair, most guys never listen to what you actually say to them so they don’t retain much of the things you talk about. That being said, though, if a man truly cares about you, he will know which topics are way too sensitive to be ignored and pay attention. He will put in extra effort to remember things about your family, dates of sentimental value to you, movies, books etc. If you feel like the man you’re talking to could just insert any other woman’s name into the things he says to you and your topics of conversation, you’re probably being played.
The only time he gets in touch is when he wants to get laid
This one is a big red flag. Is he talkative, romantic and friendly as the weekend is approaching or when he’s asking you to spend time together, but seems distant and much less eager to respond to texts any other time? Sure, he might be busy with work, but these days people are constantly attached to their phones and he will find time to text you back if he really wants to.
He still haunts his old hunting ground
Of course it’s unrealistic to expect a man to give up his social life and tie himself to a woman’s apron strings once he starts dating her. In fact, I think it’s just the opposite. When two people come together, they should enhance each other’s lives. Groups of friends join together, new connections are formed, and experiences are enhanced. But, certain habits do stop. If he’s still going to the same places he went to meet women before he met you, it’s a red flag.
A player talks one way, and acts another
A man (or anyone) can talk a certain way, and then act another way. Words are nice, but they are always drowned out by actions. Early on in a relationship, watch what someone does more than what they say. Words can be dishonest, but actions can’t.
He treats you like a relative he’s really fond of
It goes without saying that some people aren’t comfortable with public displays of affection, this is totally natural. But one thing to pay attention to is whether or not it looks like he’s trying to still appear single even when he’s with you. Does he want people to think you’re his sister? His cousin? Does he want the cute waitress to think he’s just out to dinner with a work colleague? If he is proud to be with you, which he should be, you will know it. If he’s not, you’ll always be wondering if he is.