Column Squad

Taxi Memoirs: A Tale Of Two Hajjatis And Their Selfie Loving Hajji


As I write this I am worried because the memories of Charlie Hebdo are still fresh in my mind and wouldn’t want to suffer the same fate; but some stories must be told. Let me say that I never believed in the saying that there is no fool like an old fool until I met this threesome.

As I sat in my usual corner reading the disgusting putrid incoherence that passes for our news, an elderly lady of about fifty years clambers up into the taxi. My attention is drawn by her excessive makeup and glittering head wrap which forces me to put on my shades to dim the glare.

She is soon followed by a younger version of herself and a middle aged gentleman. They take up the seats in front of me; the man sitting comfortably between the two women.

From their conversation I soon learn that the two women are his first and second wives. I also learn that relations are not so cordial between the two women; no surprises there.

Things aren’t helped by the man’s condescending treatment of his first wife in the younger’s presence. He carries on a nonstop chatter with the younger wife while actively ignoring the old one. Matters come to a head when as the taxi is leaving the park, the hajji and his younger wife pull out monster smartphones and start swiping. I am honestly shocked and embarrassed at the same time by the amount of cyber knowledge the greying man has.

They soon begin to take selfies sending to whoever has a stomach for this kind of relationship. No words can eloquently convey how distasteful and contemptible this man looked pouting his lips and turning in profile to take selfies with the equally foolish wife.  Some things are best left to the young.

Meantime, wife number one maintains a stony silence only throwing sideway glares at the lovers. Her patience and self-control are so impressive because I don’t know what I would do were our positions reversed. Whoever her senga is, she really did a good job. The only thing senga left out was to caution her against bleaching and telling her that as far as makeup is concerned, less is always more.

The senga should also have told her to lay off the kids leftovers because they will show up on your chin and waist later in life when you have no energy to fight it off.

She should also have drummed into her head that men like horses must be broken and tamed the moment you take over ownership. Those few moments you have your husband’s attention, you should put the fear of God into him so that if he is ever tempted to stray, he has the decency to keep it to himslef not to rub it in your face like the way her husband was doing moreover in public transportation.