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Back To Basics: 50 Ways To Love A Ugandan Man Right

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A while ago, I had a very interesting conversation with Taga about the condition of marriage and relationships in general in Uganda. Taga, as you all know is a man steeped in culture. His belief and conviction in the supremacy of our traditions is extraordinary. He believes that everything that is wrong with relationships and marriages started with people giving up their culture and running after foreign practices which they know nothing about.

“I think the first step to loving a Ugandan man right is it to understand the psychological effect straddling both worlds has on him. He is confused about what he wants because he is confused about his own identity. He therefore looks up to you to guide him right to where he should be and that is a proud African/Ugandan man. You do this by being a proud African/Ugandan woman.”

“No one knows romance like a true African woman. She will woo her man with her movements, her scent, her words, her eyes, her food, from sunup to sundown. Believe me if you are doing it right that man won’t have time to look around.” Taga revealed.

I concur with Taga. I wonder, sometimes, if most women really understand the immense power they have in the lives of their men. Every woman is a kingmaker. She has the power to build up or tear a man down.

Men need affirmation, they need acknowledgement and encouragement. Typically, they won’t bug you about not doing these things for them but their way of telling you is looking elsewhere.

When a woman loves her man right, there is nothing he cannot do.  So here are 100 ways to give your man enough power to slay dragons just by loving him right.

  1. Be his number one. His number one fan; he’ll have support from everyone when he’s doing well but you may be the only supporter “when things go wrong as they sometime will”. Do note that this isn’t blindly supporting him; you must hold him accountable for his actions, his successes and his failures. His number one critic; you know his dreams and his talents and probably understand better than he does his capabilities. You are in the best position constructive criticisms to help reach his goals. Whatever positives that he can receive outside the relationship, you should be the first person to offer them.
  2. Allow him to be a man. This doesn’t mean that you should be at his beck and call. Your opinion matters just as much as his. This isn’t the type of following that has you trailing behind him but you’re standing beside him ready to take on the world.
  3. Give him what the world fails to. What most men fail to get in this world is respect. If he can’t find it anywhere let him be assured of it with you.
  4. Be like his mother but not his mother. A mother holds a special place in any man’s heart. There are very few men who do not have a deep respect and love for their mothers. They would go to the end of the earth for their mothers. In most instances, their mothers would go to the end of the earth to help and provide for their children. The reason that men hold their mothers in such esteem is because their mothers have supported them and they demand respect from them. Women should demand the same respect of men that they give their mothers. Most men do not speak to their mothers disrespectfully so they shouldn’t speak to you in that way. You are someone’s (or will be someone’s) mother. At the same time, you have to respect them and support them like a mother would. However, you are not his mother. You are not and should not be expected to teach him have manners or to be disrespectful or rear him in anyway.
  5. Respectfully communicate with him.
  6. Give him some. Give him some when he wants and when he doesn’t. Give him some when you want and when you don’t. Sex for men is different. It is his way of physically, emotionally bonding with you. Do not use sex as a tool of manipulation. Just give him some and it better be good every time.
  7. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
  8. Learn his ways so you show your love in ways he can appreciate it.
  9. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
  10. Discover his sexual needs, his fantasies and blow his mind.
  11. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
  12. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
  13. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
  14. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s.
  15. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
  16. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely.
  17. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
  18. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
  19. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
  20. When you go out don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
  21. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
  22. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
  23. Create a tranquil environment so he looks forward to coming home after a hectic day.
  24. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
  25. Compliment him often.
  26. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
  27. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
  28. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
  29. Find ways to show him you need him.
  30. Give him time to be alone. Give him time to miss you.
  31. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble.
  32. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
  33. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
  34. Give him a message after a hard day.
  35. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
  36. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
  37. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
  38. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
  39. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
  40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
  41. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
  42. Honor him in front of the children.
  43. Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.
  44. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you and join him in what it is that he does first thing in the morning (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
  45. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
  46. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
  47. Get rid of habits that annoy him.
  48. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
  49. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
  50. Do little things for him, arrange his closet, restock his shelf, and make him his favorite meal for no reason at all.
  51. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
  52. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
  53. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
  1. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
  2. Tell him you love him more often.
  3. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
  4. Men will always be men, he won’t do what you think is obvious. Instead of expecting him to read your mind extend grace and tell him what it is that you want.
  5. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
  6. One man’s trash. . .so check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
  7. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
  8. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity intact.
  9. Men are attached to where they came from; make a point to visit and appreciate his childhood home.
  10. When you’re angry, express it, don’t give the silent treatment; it confuses and scares men.
  11. Pray for him.
  1. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
  2. Graciously teach him how to love you.
  3. Thank him for just being himself.

 

 

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