The quality of your relationships largely decides the very quality of life that you live. You have probably heard of the saying that a happy wife equals a happy life. I think this can be stretched further to happy relationships equals utopia. Therefore something that holds such significance in our lives needs our utmost attention. So what is the basis of a relationship? Why do people need relationships at all?
Whatever the nature of the relationship, the fundamental aspect is you have a need to be fulfilled. The needs may be physical, psychological, emotional, social, financial or political; they could be any kind. We may claim many things for whatever purpose for which we have formed a relationship, but if those needs and expectations are not fulfilled, relationships will go bad.
If your body goes in search of a relationship, we call this sexuality. If your mind goes in search of relationships, we call this companionship. If your emotions go in search of relationships, we call this love.
Whether we are looking for love, companionship or sexual fulfillment, the underlying motivation at the end of the day is happiness. Simply put, we are trying to use the other person as a source of your happiness. If you are forming relationships trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody while that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you this is going to be painful after some time. Joy and happiness cannot coexist with the unrealistic conditions and expectations we place on relationships.
So what can we do? The best thing is to shift the focus of your joy from outward to inward. At the core of your being there is love. Love is your spiritual identity and once you recognize that you have all that you need within you, you will stop looking to the outside for completeness. You need to learn to give without expectation. Love without conditions. Do things for people and with people just because they feel good not for any other reason.
Your relationships will be joyful if you are willing to see your partner’s flaws and accept them with no grievances. And you must be willing to allow others to see you exactly as you are. You need to be trusting and trustworthy. You must be able to tell the truth and accept complete honesty from your partner. You must lay down all your defenses, expectations and judgments.
Relationships are a blessing from God. Each relationship gives you an opportunity to share who you are with another individual. So treating every relationship with the sacredness it deserves is the secret to having joyful relationships.