The first time I noticed the extra skin underneath my breasts, I was taken aback. I couldn’t stop touching it, trying to understand how I had developed this excess skin without even realizing it. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of the changes my body would undergo over the years. Why is it that society hardly prepares women for the realities of aging, despite it being one of the most bewildering phases of our lives? Why does the support and guidance seem to disappear after adolescence? No one warns us about the subtle ways aging creeps up on us until one day we find ourselves needing help to get out of the bathtub. We are stunned to realise that this failing and sagging flesh is the same body that used to dance through the night and effortlessly handle a day’s work.
When contemplating the concept of aging gracefully, I understand the essence behind those who coined the phrase. Aging can be chaotic and instills a sense of ungraceful panic in those caught off guard by its effects. If you have ever felt blindsided by shifting societal expectations as you age, you understand just how ungraceful the process can be. Society assumes we should naturally know how to navigate each life stage and to it with ease; gracefully. Somehow we are expected to instinctively know when to transition our wardrobe, personality, and diet as we enter each new phase of life. Those who struggle with this transition often become the subject of ridicule and find themselves excluded from social circles.
I consider myself a quintessential late bloomer because I never thought about age until I hit my 40s. Then, the proverbial clock seemed to start ticking, accompanied by a sense of panic. For the first time, I began reflecting on where all the years had gone. Had I wasted them, and would I be forgotten after I’m gone? I know some might think it is too early to contemplate mortality in your 40s, but as the country singer says, in your 40s, you are simply too old to die young.
Becoming aware of my aging process should not be mistaken for ageism; but was rather an awakening of my power and potential. Recognising my aging prompted me to assert desires that had long been neglected or overlooked. I started acknowledging my unique qualities and talents and began utilizing them effectively. I began treating myself with reverence and respect, which others noticed and reciprocated. This newfound clarity emboldened my actions and infused my decisions with wisdom.
Realizing the passage of time brings with it a profound gift: urgency. As I became acutely aware of the finite nature of my time, I was motivated to seize each moment and make the most of it. This awareness gave me a sense of purpose and prioritization that had been lacking in my life. I stopped taking my time for granted as I recognised its preciousness. This newfound urgency encouraged me to pursue my passions, strengthen relationships, and embark on endeavors that bring fulfillment and joy. It prompted me to set meaningful goals, take bold steps forward, and embrace experiences that enrich my journey. My purpose is to ensure that every one of my days leads towards a life well-lived.
Aging is a universal inevitability that confronts us all eventually. Some resist it fiercely while others embrace it gracefully, but what unites us is the need for guidance through this journey. There are many books on aging, but one that particularly resonated with me is Norah Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck. Ephron adeptly reveals that even those women who appear to have life perfectly figured out are grappling with their own uncertainties. This realisation offers solace to those entering this phase; you don’t need to have everything figured out all at once; just take each step confidently.
Known for her work as a journalist and celebrated for iconic films like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and Julie & Julia, Ephron tackles the multifaceted aspects of aging; physical, emotional, and mental, with her trademark blend of humor and wisdom. Her insights assure readers that everything will turn out better than merely alright.
It is also a reminder of the double standards and unfair judgments women face regarding their physical appearance. Ephron highlights the beauty industry’s role in perpetuating these ideals and encourages women to challenge the norms imposed on them. She emphasizes self-acceptance, self-confidence, and finding joy in life beyond appearances. I Feel Bad About My Neck exposes the insidious effects of the beauty industry and the media on women’s self-worth, urging them to redefine beauty standards and embrace their unique journeys.
The book offers perspective on aging and body image, reminding us that true beauty comes from within and cannot be defined by society’s standards. She shares personal anecdotes, humor, and insights into the everyday experiences of middle-aged women, providing a relatable and empowering perspective on aging challenges. Ultimately, Ephron inspires readers to embrace their unique journeys as women and redefine beauty standards from a more inclusive perspective. This is essential reading for anyone passionate about women’s empowerment and the fight against unrealistic beauty standards.
